Congratulations!
You have been pre-selected to play in the
Thursday night dart League!
Dear (first
name) (last name),
I’m sitting here personally writing this letter to you
because you are special. Through our
intensive screening process we have identified you, (first
name) (last name); to be
someone we want with us. Who are
we? Let me tell you.
We are a highly organized, motivated group of booze sucking
dart players who gather together weekly to play darts. It’s as simple as that. And we have decided that you, (first name here) are one of us. Remember, not everyone is invited. You are special! We know special when we see it. There are even a few local celebrities in the
Thursday Dart League who prefer to remain nameless to non members.
GOOD NEWS!
I’ve just been informed; you are pre-approved for a $5 per
week credit line! Play first, and then
pay! Satisfaction is guaranteed. If you are not completely satisfied with your
Thursday Dart League experience we will return all monies to the teams in the
form of prize money. In fact we want you
to join so badly we’ll do that even if you are satisfied! Send no money now!
EXCLUSIVE BENEFITS!
As a member of a team you will receive exclusive dart
league benefits. Some of those benefits
include…
YOUR NAME IN
PRINT!
Your team name and ranking published weekly in the Thursday
Dart League Standings Publication! (Circulation 12). Plus a listing
on the Lots of Crazy Stuff web site!
YOU’LL MAKE CONNECTIONS!
The opportunity to meet other members
with interests such as yours; dart playing, alcohol tasting, becoming rich,
etc.
EQUIPMENT FOR YOU TO USE!
The exclusive Dart League equipment at
your disposal each week.
AN INVITATION!
An invitation to the End of Season Dart
League Gala, a “who’s who can’t miss” event.
And these are just a few of the great benefits for joining.
The Thursday Dart League is great fun but don’t take my work for it. Speak with others who are already members. You’d be surprised how many you already know.
I’m sure you’ll take advantage of this great offer so here’s
the info:
The next League begins May 13th
at 8 PM.
Join now by calling 708-421-8332 or contact us at lotsofcrazystuff@comcast.net
Since we have to make
sure only the approved people get in (we’ve had “uninvited” try to get in
before) the password phrase is “I want to sign up for the Thursday Dart League”. Be sure to use the password phrase. We want to make sure the league stays as
exclusive as it now is.
…and remember (nickname if available),
I
not only run the Thursday Dart League,
I’m a member!
Sincerely,
Lynn Sorice
Surgeon Generals Warning: The Thursday Dart League may periodically cause
excessive drinking, next day hangover symptoms, sometimes leading to chronic
liver problems and in some cases psychosis.
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